"Battles Fought and Victories Lost"

Emotions are like summer rain for me. They seldom come and when they finally come they only last an astral eclipse. My eyes follow the spears of light into the darkness, while a feeling of distance, a metaphor of inconsistency and an ecstasy of reminiscence unfold a longer distance in me. Long trail, everlasting discourses and most of all intimate faces cascade into the amazement of my gaze. If distances are mirror images they spread in two directions. Looking deep into the end of sky, they come following you to the depth of your own recollections. Like a procession they follow a sincere sequence of favor and here comes they, whom I missed for long, to raise my posture in respect.

Looking back at life after years of study bounded by classroom walls, I gratefully would like to remember all those mortals who successfully or unsuccessfully strived to imbibe in me a good character than just maths and physics. Right from those primary school nuns to those ferocious masters in high school, not to forget those aristocratic lecturers in college, who through their scaring, scolding and cruelty, mixed with some heart touching consolations and care, labored to make me what I am. The sparkle of a teardrop, just glitter across my eyes; when I remember those faces with reverence and gratitude. One of the rare moments of innocence when your heart breaks down before ever you can deny it to. The fellow beings in a supposed to be heavenly life, the classmates, no matter of all that they have done. Today seems to be sweet hearted and are unbearably missed each day. The abode of those consoling words, the care of those touching hands and the presence of those charismatic eyes are all like a paradise lost long before you realize it. I still remember the face of my favorite teacher who at the end of the last class spoke with tears in her eyes to a silent still class. Her voice trembled several times while she was blessing, advising and inspiring all that she could do to some ones children; she thought her own for years. The vision of the class blurred with tear-socked eyelashes but her image with all its clarity was being unscathly inscribed in each one of our inner walls. When asked of what she remembers most of the years she taught us, she replied in a blink that she never saw me smile in class. Those were the days of struggle and suffering when I studied the basics of coming up in life. The teacher, who was never indifferent to any, did distinguish me with her humble comment. But it was later realised to be only an appreciation of those well done school days. The frivolous ornamentation still hanging from each one of our eyes was an inexplicable decoration for the moment our teacher bid good bye and we friends saw each other clad in uniforms and sitting next to each other for the last time in our life. Those were the days of innocence and free guidance and I always wonder why God put the best part of life right at the beginning.

No matter how ambitious or optimistic one is. Life is like a big stream down the years and you always end up where the waters of living will ultimately take you splashing. Studying architecture for me was of fateful chance rather than choice. From a schoolboy who wanted to be a sportsman to the teenager who wanted to be a mechanic and motor rallyist, the waters of living splashed me in to the realm of architecture. But contrary to convention I never regretted anything that ever happened to me, the least for the choice of my profession. After all you realize that how much ever you screen, dream, or long for God has his own ways of doing things. Here as a comrade I shall acknowledge the disagreeable wrench suffered by tens and thousands of young men including many of my close friends, who at the period of their greatest intellectual receptiveness were obliged to forego their favorite studies.

The moments of achievements are always proceeded by thanks giving. When you compare yourself with those unprivileged street kids, who share their equality in silence with those four legged street mates, I stand myself as the most privileged beggar among a bunch of mistaken identities, who boast themselves as self made achievers in the presence of the lord. In the unbalanced and unsymmetrical composition of life some are fortunate while others are less fortunate. But with a stroke of dull and bright colours to the astonishment of those haves and have-not’s, God always end up making a beautiful composition out of each one of our precious lives. What I have done to achieve so much of blessings is still a mystery to me. I thank God for all His blessings that He always have poured on me; despite my inability time and again to fare well in front of Him. This does not deprive me of any disappointments in life. I shall abstain from the mention of my disappointments cause I believe they are all my personal possessions and I shall enjoy it all by myself.

Dedication I think is a lifetime commitment. If I frankly think of a person to whom I could dedicate something of myself for the unlimited source of love and care poured on me who else can stand at the place of my mother who despite day and night have always done whatever little she could do to see that her lean and dark son stands second to none. She embodied my belief that no matter how hard these women aspire for no one can ever achieve a position greater than that of a good mother.

After all these words and phrases it may seem too much of myself. But when I make an informal conclusion to my best of days, I can't help holding the cradle of my wholehearted recollections. We all live with a hope that tomorrow is always bright and future always lies greener. But when life is only a transit of eternal souls that migrate from body to body from generation to generation, buildings and professional excellence are all secondary. Life is more than bricks and mortars. It is about human lives that are sustained by an intrinsic web of precious relationships. Life's battles are always omnipresent. But like many paradoxes it takes time and injuries before you realize what actually you won and what you really lost. If my battles are justifiable my victories seem disowning. It all seems like some ones battles and my victories and I shall thank all my teachers for that. .

A reverence, which I submissively bestow upon each one of them.